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Idiot Phone

mycoupons | 09 March, 2007 06:30

I'm going to have to kill him. It's the only thing that will make me feel better.

He is a child in a man's body.

He is my husband.

I have coined a new phrase for anytime someone does something stupid- 'Pulling a Joey'

Example: Did you see that guy trying to get the ball off the roof by throwing a BROOM at it? Instead of knocking the ball down, the broom went right through the living room window! He pulled a Joey!

Wanna know what he did now? He lost his cell phone.

AGAIN.

For the third time since January 1st.

Want to know HOW I know it's the third time? Because our cell phone insurance only covers TWO claims per calendar year, and we have already used them both.

Here it is the 67th day of the year, and he is working his way towards phone number FOUR.

But,the karma Gods were looking kindly upon me this week.

I found the phone today. Wanna know where?

Nope! Not in the freezer, or the pool, or the car.

It was in the very last place I would expect it to be!

Minneapolis, Minnesota!!

Minnesota, you say? How did it get there when you and Mr. Forgetful live in Florida?

Well, you see, every once in a blue moon I trust Joey to do something. It's always something small. Never anything that can possibly cause him or others bodily harm, and especially never anything that has to do with money. Just small, little tasks that make him feel important.

About three weeks ago, I sold a $10 item on eBay.

"Joey, we are out of packing tape, will you please take this box to work, and seal it up? It's already paid for, just tape and drop in the mailbox."

Seems simple, right?

Not so much.

If I had a monkey and a bunch of bananas, I could have trained him to follow those directions. Monkeys learn quickly.

Evidently having a Master's degree puts you one step below monkey.

Joey forgot.The box sat in his car for a week. I was none the wiser until a very irate buyer emailed me asking for his package. I checked the delivery confirmation- it showed as waiting to be mailed.

JOEY!!!!!!!!

Of course he forgot. There was probably a parade going by with pretty colors. He tends to get distracted by pretty colors.

So, he got it out of his car and mailed it. I refunded the buyer the cost he paid for shipping- as a token of my appreciation for his understanding. End of story.

Until my phone rang this morning.

"Hi, this is Tom- you sold me a widget on eBay last month."

OH CRAP.

"Yes, Hi Tom, is everything ok?- The delivery confirmation shows as delivered."

"Yes, the widget is perfect. But I am a little confused. You also sent me a cell phone- maybe by accident?

Tom lives in beautiful Minneapolis. Tom was now the proud owner of Joey's one month old cell phone. Tom was nice enough to empathize with me when I explained that my husband had been in charge of mailing his widget. Tom is sending the phone back to me- via priority mail- at my expense. Selling that widget has now COST me a little over a dollar.

My mother used to sew my mittens into the sleeves of my winter coat- she affectionately called them 'idiot mittens.'

When the phone returns home from the cross country roadtrip, I am going to sew it to his head.

Until we meet again, ( Leave comments or I'm not coming back!)

Cici

Cici@MyCoupons.com