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Too much time on my hands

mycoupons | 02 March, 2007 11:15

Circulation must be down. I have located yet another person who missed the memo. People, it is ALL ABOUT ME. I get what I want, when I want it. And if you should so choose to cross me or tell me no, you should be prepared for the wrath of Cici.

My most recent victim? Chase Bank.

I had the nerve to pay off my credit card last month. Can you imagine having the audacity? I paid my bill through my online banking service and forgot about it. Until I got a bill on Monday- for .07!  Yes, SEVEN CENTS. It would appear that I misread my statement, and under paid by .07. Ok! My mistake, my responsibility.

I called Chase, and got a customer service hater on the phone. I mentioned my faux paus, and asked if they would possibly be able to write off the small balance.

You would have thought I asked her if she would be willing to club baby seals. "Ma'am, you are responsible for your credit card charges, we do not write off anything."

Ok. Understood. Might I be able to make this payment over the telephone, using my checking account, or my Debit card?

" Yes, Ma'am, I will be happy to connect you with our automated service. A service fee of $4.95 will appear on your next statement."

<Me picking my jaw off the floor>

"Desiree, do you have ANY idea how ridiculous that sounds? You are going to charge me FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY FIVE CENTS to make a SEVEN CENT PAYMENT???!??!"

"That is the charge, Ma'am, why not have your bank send another check?" Desiree asked.

"I would. I really would, but you see, my bank will not issue a check for less than $1."

"You could always mail a check or money order." Desiree offered.

"Well, yes, I suppose I could, but again, spending a .39 stamp to pay .07, feels wrong." I protested.

"I don't really know what to tell you, Ma'am, if you refuse to pay, I will be happy to put a note on your account stating as such, but you will be placed for collections." Desiree warned.

OH H E Double Hockey Sticks NO!

"Desiree?" I asked sweetly. " What would happen if Chase owed ME .07- would they refund it?"

"Absolutely! We do not allow accounts to have credits. The system would refund you any amount that was a surplus on your account." Desiree proudly proclaimed.

"Thank you, Desiree, have a great day!" I said as I hung up.

Let the fun begin. I sat right down, armed with my checkbook and statement.

'Pay to the order of Chase Bank, N.A., Amount?  .10, Zero dollars and ten cents.  I included a copy of the memo for their future reference.

Yes, it cost me a .39 stamp- but the elation I feel in sticking it to the man was worth so much more.

Chase will open my envelope, and post my .10 payment. Their system will then cut me a refund check for .03. They will spend man hours having someone enter my payment, and the postage required to mail me my .03!

I have a strange feeling that .03 check will mysteriously get Diet Coke spilled on it, rendering it unfit for deposit.  I will then have to call Chase, and request a replacement check for .03.

Once I receive the second check, I will keep it. I will let Chase grow old and grey- with a .03 surplus on their books.

I think I need a hobby.

Until we meet again,

Cici

Cici@MyCoupons.com

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